Border collie as state dog barking up wrong tree

Published 12:24 pm Friday, February 4, 2011

I don’t often weigh in on political issues, but once in  a great while there is something important enough to make me sit up and take notice.

I happened to discover a Senate resolution before the Oregon Legislature that is one such issue.

Oregon may soon become one of very few states that has an official state dog. Sen. Ted Ferrioli, at the request of Baker County rancher Ron Folck, has sponsored a resolution to name the border collie as Oregon’s official dog.

The senate resolution cites the border collie’s long history as a working dog and its many contributions to one of the states oldest industries, namely ranching.

Let me state now that I have nothing against border collies. They are a wonderful dog. I say that because my mother-in-law owns one. However, is the border collie the dog that we, as Oregonians, want representing all of us?

Firstly, I personally don’t want anything that spends most of its life chasing sheep representing me. Nothing wrong with sheep per se, it just isn’t the image I like to promote. I am sure many Oregonians feel the same.

Secondly, we know we need to soften our political tone to create a less-violent political atmosphere. Is a dog that was, no doubt, up to its neck in the range wars between cattlemen and sheepherders during the late 1800s really the animal to promote? I would hate to think  Oregon was responsible for promoting sheep rustling.

Thirdly, there are many other qualified dogs that should at least be considered. Are we going to let our elected leaders foist their choice of state dog on us?

If a majority of Oregonians really want the border collie to be the new state emblem, no matter how deranged that idea is, then I won’t make a fuss. However, based on an  informal office poll I conducted in an effort to look busy, I think I can say most Oregonians are too busy to really care. Most Oregonians would happily vote for a mange-riddled mongrel with halitosis if it would mean they didn’t have to answer stupid questions.

The rest of the population will vote for their own, personal dog.

Exhibit one: Ron Folck.

It is obvious Oregon needs an informed crusader to champion the issue. Lacking one of those, it falls to me.

If Oregon does need to have a state dog, then I think I, as a non-dog-owning person, can offer some alternative choices.

The Labrador retriever: Overly friendly and pathetically anxious to please, this breed is the most popular dog in America. The Labrador retriever comes in two colors, black and yellow, handy for most fashion statements.

The breed is overly fond of ducks, it seems, which could hurt the breed’s image in some demographics. On the other hand, Labs are tall enough to drink from the toilet without having to put their paws on the seat.

The Newfoundland: Newfies are approximately the size and shape of a tractor, and are often used in water-rescue operations because they can pull boats.  A Newfoundland named Seaman was one of the first non-native dogs to come to Oregon, arriving with the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Seaman was, despite his size, perhaps the only dog the famous explorers did not eat. Newfies also make great rugs if you can teach them to sleep in the middle of the living room, and can save a fortune in garbage disposal fees.

American Indian dog: This breed was developed by Native Americans thousands of years ago as an all-purpose dog. Not only are they agile, smart, and family-friendly, they are tasty too.  Thought to be extinct, the breed has made a comeback in the last two decades, thanks to breed founder Kim LaFlamme, who lives in Selma, Oregon.

LaFlamme has tried to get the American Indian dog (not to be confused with wolf-dog hybrids) named as the United States national dog.

I base my three recommendations on extensive research that took roughly 10.5 minutes. I feel confident I have not left out any strong contenders for the title of state dog.

However, there is always a chance. If you feel differently, feel free to send your vote for state dog to: The Hermiston Herald, 333 E. Main St., Hermiston, OR, 97838.

You can also e-mail lhegdal@hermistonherald.com.

Please do not nominate the Irish wolfhound. That would be inconsiderate, considering all the time, money and effort that environmentalists have spent to re-establish sustainable wolf populations in Eastern Oregon.