Another Mile: Thanks for thoughtful words
Published 5:00 am Wednesday, November 27, 2024
- Regina Braker, of Pendleton, is a retired educator with journeys through many places and experiences who enjoys getting to know people along the way. Her column, Another Mile, appears in the East Oregonian.
Early in November I was feeling some gut pangs of worry and uncertainty. The election was underway, with polls giving us no sense of how the results would play out. Even now, there are still some last percentage points of votes being counted in one of the largest states of the union, our neighbor to the south, along with our neighbors to our north, bringing the popular vote totals ever more in line with the tight percentages that were forecast in those national polls for the highest office in the land.
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By now we all know that it’s the Electoral College that determines that race, not the popular vote. And our privilege as voters goes beyond that one high stakes race, so I find there’s some insight to learn from neighbors who shared their views in letters to the editor in efforts to persuade those who still needed a nudge.
On Nov. 2, I posted a message on social media with a photo of the book “Beyond Your Bubble,” which I read last summer, learning about how to communicate across the political divide. That feeling in my gut was convincing me that some of the lessons in that book would come in handy in the weeks and months ahead of us as I shared my recommendation: “Whichever way the results in all the races go in the next days, we will need to do a lot of work to manage the deep divides among us … and learn and practice better ways to communicate with one another.”
A sibling gave it a thumbs-up, a signal of conciliation among known disagreements between us. And in the days that followed the election, there were occasions for encouragement and shared humanity.
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The day after the election I found myself in the company of women wielding knitting needles and crochet hooks. One friend at the restaurant announced that she was organizing a collection of handmade quilts and donations of hand-knit items, a care package to warm survivors of Hurricane Helene’s destructive forces. Some of us had started work on hats and scarves in our company of creative women who spin, knit and crochet, or sew, who share love, laughter and care for one another amid coffee, tea or cocoa with pie, or other comfort food choices.
In that spirit of generosity, cooperation and goodwill I’ve been looking for nuggets of wisdom that show up in my social media since then. Many are quotes from other writers, and it’s a good feeling to offer a comment or an emoji of agreement.
My sister offered this Biblical verse: “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.” Philippians 4:8.
A cousin by marriage shared something a friend had written: “Continue to do the good work. Continue to build bridges not walls. Continue to lead with compassion. Continue the demanding work of liberation for all. Continue to dismantle broken systems, large and small. Continue to set the best
example for the children. Continue to be a vessel of nourishing joy.”
One friend shared a suggestion to post healthful ideas along with this response that seemed appropriate to me as we approach our holiday of thankfulness: “Sometimes I will call an old friend just to talk and see how they are doing. Supporting each other is important.”
I liked the positivity of this next message, posted by a fellow performer in “The Sound of Music” production of some years ago: “To the people who wanted this, congratulations! To the people who didn’t, we’ve got to stay strong and keep pushing forward. We’ve got this!”
Even in the face of inevitable disagreement, we can try to better understand one another, by listening, asking more questions, and taking time to answer calmly.
But just in case someone during holiday feasts starts to rile things up, it helps to have a good news story at the ready to reroute conversation. Mine is from public radio’s “Seeking Common Ground” about the neighbors who found agreement through the lawn sign with the message, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”